In the summer of 2005, my mother was hospitalized for complications from diabetes. Her body was shutting down and she was dying. She had lost her leg years prior to diabetes. I felt very sad and disturbed watching her go through this. I was astonished that diabetes and eating a poor diet could lead to such a horrible death. After she died, I felt that I really had to make a permanent change in my life and my eating habits. I was unable to really see what was in the mirror.
I had been thinner before in my life and had always kept pretty active. By the time I got pregnant with my daughter, I was 15 lbs heavier than I am now. Of course, I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant (40lbs), because I ate really poorly and did not exercise at all. My daily indulgence was a fish sandwich and a root beer from Burger King. When my daughter was 6 months old I was at an all time high for weight. I weighed 15 lbs more than I did before I had her. When she was 14 months old, I became pregnant with my son. I had actually lost about 17lbs before I got pregnant with him. I made up for it though, as I gained 50 lbs during my second pregnancy!
After I had him I was was back again at my all time high. I was overwhelmed with 2 small children and working a full time job. I rarely exercised and was not eating well at all. I LOVED food! Things that should be indulgences, once in a while, were part of my daily diet. Everything from bread, pasta, cheese, ice cream, desserts, candy, chips - you name it, I was eating it! I also found that I started eating my kids leftovers, on top of my own dinner, which also added to my weight gain.
By the time my son was 2, I felt really crappy. I hated buying clothes and had to shop at the plus size stores. This definitely killed my self esteem. I had three sisters that were 13,12 and 11 years older than me. I was the heaviest one, shopping in the same stores my mom had while I was growing up. I started going to yoga classes and the breathing alone was a huge wake-up call. It was really hard for me, but I was amazed at some of the poses people in my classes could do. I was inspired to get better at yoga and I also enjoyed the mental part of it. It was definitely an escape from my sometimes noisy, chaotic life.
At the time, I had a 2 and 4 year old and worked in a middle school. I continued with my yoga journey and about a year and a half later is when my mom's health was really starting to deteriorate. My mother died in September of 2005. Very soon after she died I joined Weight Watchers. I did lose about 15lbs, but I couldn't seem to lose anymore. I was at a standstill because I really wasn't committed to changing my diet permanently. This is what brought me to Berta. I had 2 kids and definitely wanted to be a role model for them. I wanted them to be proud of me and I wanted to be proud of myself.
Currently, I am a yoga junkie. I love it and could not imagine not practicing. I for the most part eating pretty healthy - I definitely indulge in junk food once in a while - not every day of every week. I have really learned to love many healthy foods such as vegetables. whole grains, fish and other seafood. I don't eat read meat, or pork anymore and I have chicken about once a week. I can honestly say I don't miss eating all kinds of meat. As far as junk food goes, I try to indulge in really good chocolate instead of a candy bar at the checkout aisle. I don't keep ice cream in the house, because that is my favorite. If I am really craving it, I will treat myself to a really good ice cream shop and I will get the smallest cup. As far a chip and other junk food, I find it's best if I don't even go there. I have discovered from going to Berta that my body is very sensitive to odium, so I try to stay away from it. It's not worth it mentally to wake up after eating something salty and being 4 to 5lbs more than the previous day. I really do feel confident that my eating habits have changed for life. Don't get me wrong, I go through phases where I definitely feel I can be more disciplined. I try not to revisit that for too long, but I do feel that overall I am a much healthier person.
Yoga and physical activity are in my life on a regular bass and I so still LOVE to eat, only now the choices are usually much better! MEeting Berta has tryly been a path that I needed to cros. I really don't feel I would have the abiltiy to change more into the person I am striving to be without her help and guidance. She has listened to many hours of me expressing anger, sadness, joy, sorrow, happiness and success. Most importantly, she has helped me become more confident and comfortable in my own skin and for this I am every grateful. I hope that I have become a role model for my kids and hat they can be proud of their mom. If someone calls my house and I'm not home they know... Mommy's at yoag!